My Favorite Bit of Information From The Week:
Lori Gottlieb – The hierarchy of pain and beyond
This week one of the bright spots in my world was a podcast I listened to, so I thought I would share it. The podcast is from The Tim Ferriss Show, interviewing Lori Gottlieb.
Who is Lori Gottlieb? “Lori Gottlieb (@LoriGottlieb1) is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which is being adapted as a television series by Eva Longoria and the creators of the Emmy and Golden Globe-winning series The Americans. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes the Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column and contributes regularly to the New York Times and many other publications.
Her recent TED Talk is one of the top 10 most-watched of the year, and she is a sought-after expert in media such as the Today show, Good Morning America, CBS’s Early Show, CNN’s Newsroom, and NPR’s Fresh Air. Her new iHeart podcast, Dear Therapists, produced by Katie Couric, will premiere this year.”
My Favorite Bits From The Talk:
Lori touched many chords within me during her talk, but the following have stayed with me throughout the week:
1. The Hierarchy of Pain: She speaks to how we (as a community) prioritize and treat physical pain, but let emotional pain bottle up until we are having the equivalent of an emotional heart attack. We ignore small signs, and then wait until we are in crisis to respond. I believe part of why this occurs is because we are not trained to see the small signs in ourselves, and often it can be nearly impossible to self-analyze, especially when we are in pain. Hearing Lori speak to this, paired with the current climate, has caused me to be more introspective and self-analytical this week in a way that has felt very healing. To hear more of Lori’s definition go to minute 10:55 in the podcast.
2. Self Compassion vs. Self Flagellation: She talk about how we often have a hard time finding compassion for ourselves, but beating ourselves up can be easy. This distinction is one I know well, but still fall into often. Hearing her break down why we do this and how common it is was helpful for me. Seeing myself “described” by someone else always helps me see my pitfalls more clearly and get back to neutral.
3. Death Without Dwelling On It: During her time in medical school she did rotations in the children’s oncology unit, and from her time there learned a new way to look at death. How thinking about death (without dwelling on it) can give us a happier and more enjoyment filled life. I loved the distinction between “thinking” and “dwelling”. It was also healing to hear her talk about death in a way that put me at ease – the more conversations I hear on the topic the more it normalizes in my brain, in a good way.
4. She mentions Viktor Frankl who wrote Man’s Search For Meaning, one of my favorite books. It is the perspective of a man trying to find meaning and joy in the midst of living in concentration camps. It is his real story. One of my favorite quotes from the book was brought up, and I thought I would share it with you:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
5. What Is Therapy? Lastly, she shares unique perspectives on what therapy is and why it is important. How it is different to treat someone in a private, repetitive setting vs. in her Atlantic Weekly “Dear Therapist” column. I find her fascinating and I hope you do as well.
Update On My Show:
-Working on bringing you a live performance via the interwebs! News to come soon.
-Hope For The Day, has some amazing conversations going on through their instgram and facebook if you are in need of some hopeful and helpful mental health content. My favorite way to access their upcoming classes is through eventbrite, they have free educational courses and live stream podcasts coming up tonight and through the next few weeks.
–One Woman Hamlet performed at Nasty, Brutish & Short: A Puppet Cabaret via Facebook live! If you are on Facebook and want a magical puppet break, Rough House Theater has been kind enough to leave it up.
-Based on how my new schedule is panning out, this weekly email will be released every Thursday for awhile.